Life At Slow-Mo

If you’re a fan of Korean Drama, you would notice at one time or another the characters would say something like these:

“Don’t be so formal with me. We are just a couple of months apart.”
“I am your senior. Why do you talk so informal with me?”
“Hey, why didn’t you tell me that we are of the same age? I didn’t have to be so formal with you!”

Age plays a very important role in Korean society. You must address someone according to how older or younger the person is compared to you. You can speak freely with a younger person. On the other hand, speaking formally with an older person is a must.

In my country, a similar custom applies. On top of that, there is a strict rule in using names in daily interaction. You can only use names when addressing people who are younger than you, or who are very close to you.

So it was a great shock for me when I first attended a convention in the US. The internal culture of our organization is to call everyone by his or her first name. Literally everyone. There is no Mr or Mrs or Ms. Just George, or Sue, or John, or Mary. From staff to CEO, the same is true.

I was having a hard time adjusting to that. It wasn’t so hard for me when interacting with people in their thirties or forties. But it was more difficult with older people.

In one of the workshops I attended during the convention, the facilitator asked everyone to go around the room and introduce themselves. As I was looking around for more people to meet, an elderly gentleman came and offered his hand. He was tall, his hair was all white. He had a very friendly countenance and he spoke with a soft voice. I believed he was about my father’s age, which put him in the 60 to 70 years old bracket.

“Hello,” he said as we shook hands. “I’m Olliver.”
“H-hello,” I stammered. “I’m Stephen.”
“Hello, Stephen. You can call me Ollie.”
“H-hello Ollie,” I said, still stammering.

The awkwardness of calling someone who was as old as my dad with his first name was so strong, I could still feel it on my flight back home a few days later. It was almost like having committed a sin.

That is one of the biggest culture shocks I experienced when going abroad. What is yours?